Yesterday was the first attempt at running the entire show...
...fail.
I was pretty disappointed. The saturday I had off was really beneficial. I got in a little yoga, some good food and a good movie and I was really energized to come back and attack the play in its entirety. I took a good hour before hand to do some stretching, some yoga, and vocal warm ups, and it left me in a pretty good zone. But once we started the run I was really disheartened by the lack of focus and drive the scenes had. Its obvious tensions will probably run high throughout the next two weeks among the cast. I hope Jason holds to his statement that he doesn't want anyone calling line by wednesdays rehearsal. I think its going to be a challenge. We only made it part way through the scene 2.1. Despite the disappointment, I tried to focus on the shape on the show and monitor John's arch. I found that I lived more in his anger and contempt for the people around him, so much so that the tender good-bye moment between him and Liz was a bit diminished, and I was inhabited more by the sense of injustice and the idea of his property being taken from him. I wasn't necessarily discouraged by this because it still gives him room to realize how much he loves Liz, so the final embrace is all the more cathartic.
Tonights rehearsal was our first go at working the scenes. My scene with Abigail was really nicely tuned and Emily and I really engaged with the sexual tension. We specified the physical struggle between the two of them, tending towards the melodrama, which has continually been a great mode to indulge in (thinking back to the brief discussions with Pig Iron about Melodrama... I really wish they could get to see the show). The most thrilling part was the fact that the lights were on for the run of the first act. Immediately the environment was completely changed and it was vastly easier to relax into the circumstances and the drama.
The work we did tonight on 1.2 was incredible. We finely tuned the connections between the proctors; Jason prompted Kayla to look for the coldness, which gave me a whole knew set of proposals to respond to. The contempt for Parris was worked into the relationship with Hale, which gave me even more to delve into and really grapple with his anger and inner hate for these men. Jason directed me to taking intense offense at being asked to recite the Commandments, which helps me to understand why Proctor will never really ever reconcile or give much forgiveness towards Hale, which was something I had sort of felt should be in there somewhere (I feel Hale is very justified in his pursuits, though he is too foolish to do much good). During my final moments with Mary, our sound designer started to play a haunting string compilation, and it really swept me up. Any time I get any taste of the score that is going to underscore any of my lines, I get so filled. Sometimes I even try to hear the score in my head to help inspire those emotions. Can't wait until lights are integrated as well. Whatever doubts I had had last week are mostly washed away now. I feel only anticipation... even as nervous as I am.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Because it is my naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
Well the whole thing is on its feet! We blocked the final two units last night and ran the whole scene. Before the run through, Jason commemorated the event by gathering us on stage and playing a round of "focus-ball" (Koli-volley (sp?)). As he has throughout the blocking process, Jason stressed that this is a collaborative experience and from here on out we are to completely trust what we feel is right or not right.
I really busted ass yesterday trying to get decently off book for the rehearsal, but I was still having issues with the lines. Regaurdless, I felt pretty good about my first crack at the scene. I used the excercise from yesterday before I entered, but because of my trouble with the lines it was less successful than last nights go after using it.
The structure of the scene is all there and I really love what its going to able to allow me to do and how its going to shape John's arch. I fall to the ground at 3 different points. Aside from the great outburst that I've been waiting to tackle, Jasons lead me to a really great choice to sit on the stage left step and curl up like a child when he refuses to hand over his confession. Its the absolute antithesis of where John begins the play. Its the physical representation of how collapsed his soul is.
I went for the kiss... at the final embrace between John and Elizabeth. Kayla and I had talked about it before but I made not mention of it durring the rehearsal until I went for it. I purposefully did that so I could just allow the moment to explode as honestly as I could for the first time, just to see where it has the potential of going. Kayla hadn't understood how I would be able to work it in, but I knew it has to be there to realize the cathartic needs of the audience and of the characters. Jason reflected my thoughts. I think it took everyeone by surprise, but there was no need to shy away from anything. I wanted to start fully committing as best I could at the early stages so that I can really find how its going to grow (the scene I mean).
I really busted ass yesterday trying to get decently off book for the rehearsal, but I was still having issues with the lines. Regaurdless, I felt pretty good about my first crack at the scene. I used the excercise from yesterday before I entered, but because of my trouble with the lines it was less successful than last nights go after using it.
The structure of the scene is all there and I really love what its going to able to allow me to do and how its going to shape John's arch. I fall to the ground at 3 different points. Aside from the great outburst that I've been waiting to tackle, Jasons lead me to a really great choice to sit on the stage left step and curl up like a child when he refuses to hand over his confession. Its the absolute antithesis of where John begins the play. Its the physical representation of how collapsed his soul is.
I went for the kiss... at the final embrace between John and Elizabeth. Kayla and I had talked about it before but I made not mention of it durring the rehearsal until I went for it. I purposefully did that so I could just allow the moment to explode as honestly as I could for the first time, just to see where it has the potential of going. Kayla hadn't understood how I would be able to work it in, but I knew it has to be there to realize the cathartic needs of the audience and of the characters. Jason reflected my thoughts. I think it took everyeone by surprise, but there was no need to shy away from anything. I wanted to start fully committing as best I could at the early stages so that I can really find how its going to grow (the scene I mean).
Thursday, February 3, 2011
What is John Proctor...
I've been pretty neglectful of my blog and my senior project responsibilities this past week, so i've got a lot to catch up on...
The past week we've been staging Act 2 scene 2, the large court room scene. I expressed to Jason that I was concerned this would be a lull in the show`, and turn into a bunch of college guys trying to act like ballsy old guys yelling at each other, which could turn a bit rough for the audience. The wall I feared I'd hit in line memorizing has taken a bit of a toll on the level of work i've been able to put into the rehearsals. I haven't been able to really commit myself entirely to the emotional quality because I've been mostly focused on lines and blocking... to be expected, but still disappointing. The rehearsals have been a bit less focused.
Regaurdless, I've still made some interesting discoveries... made some break throughs, as well as meeting some apprehensions and doubts about my performance thus far. The most difficult part of the scene for me has been the monologue I have in admitting his adultery. Jasons been urging me to play and use the space on the upper deck on this monologue and i've found some nice things, but I still need to focus on specificity of movement and gestures.
Durring our first run of the entire scene last sunday, i did make some great emotional break throughs after that monologue in connecting with his dispair durring Elizabeth's interrogation. Everyone in the rehearsal said they felt invested in the latter part of the scene, despite many calls for line. I've been frustrated because I was frequently calling line when I didn't even have one.
But on the whole, I've been trying to use some transference when considering his emotional state. I've been considering personal things that are going on my life that I can equate to John's frustration and feeling of being beaten down by his life and circumstances. That really helped me to invest and I actually drew some tears durring that run, which is exciting for me; but I don't want to focus on that for fear of forcing anything from this point on. My interaction with Emily Perry also has become really invested her betrayal of John has really been hitting hard with me. I'ven ot thought too much about the complicated realtionship between Mary Warren and John, and I realized the peaks and valleys it goes through, especially in this scene. Its a really big hurtle she has to climb in telling the court that John never threatened her, because I've been pretty violent with her in the first act. But through this scene she becomes the only person John has to hold on to, and when she rejects him the feeling of solitude is pretty striking. The final speech about hearing the boot of lucifer finally connected with me on that final run. I had been trying to be very dramatic and declamitory, but I relaxed into it and found a sense of giving up and being haunted by the imagery. Its a strange thing for him to announce, that God is dead. The line surely comes out of Miller's own religious questioning. I have to consider more about what he really feels about his relationship to God. God is always on not just all Puritans' minds, but also Johns. I truely feel John feels God's presence at all times in his life, until finally he feels rejected by God as well. That statement is a lashing out at God in anger, but not a denial of God. This is probably a pretty relateable feeling for many people; the sense that God has turned his back on his children in contrast to simply disbelieving his existance. Theres a significant difference in the two ideas, and the former bears much more impact.
Last night was my first rehearsal in the final scene, in which John is absolutey at the bottom of despair. Lisa Ann made a comment to me about seeing Liam Neeson playing JP and how over the course of the play his posture declined until his final "It is my name!". Its a great physical way of illustrating how beat down John becomes and I think that will help me to realize the arch and journey John takes. The first couple goes of the scene were difficult and felt forced. Then Jason led Kayla and I in an excercise that really worked for me. he has us kneeling and lifting ourselfs up on our thighs, so to feel a good burn. While pulling back with the thighs, we'd reach out with our arms so there is a contrasting push pull in the body. After a few lines he had us stand up and continue the scene. I couldn't believe the impact it made on me. My body remained in the physical state that the I was trying to have the artificial emotions do. I was completely freed up to let the text work for me and focus on my thoughts about the Giles and Rebecca. I'm definitley going to be using this every rehearsal. I've always worked from the outside in and with psycho-physical techniques. This excercise was the most successful I've ever felt in connecting with a scene.
Despite this huge break through, the rest of rehearsal left me feeling pretty lousy about the scene and how I was dealing with it, mostly because I was having a lot of difficulty remembering lines and blocking, so I couldn't get anywhere near the state I had been durring the excercise. I left rehearsal with a lot of doubt and questioning about how I'm doing as John Proctor. I'm fearing that its forced, or that it just kinda looks like B.S. (I know I'm being hard on myself but I have to be). John pleads to God, "What is John Proctor", I've used this as a mantra a couple of times before rehearsal in a search to understand and reconcile with Proctor. I haven't come to a good understanding of him yet. I'm trying to reconcile the where John Proctor lives in myself, in a way of being the same person. I've also tried to understand him as a seperate person, and how I can step into that third party.
Depsite these concerns and apprehensions, I've never tried to approach a character in this way, which is exciting and scary. I feel like the possibility of failure is a lot greater than any other part i've worked on before.We've got 14 days left before opening. Thats scary... I feel very vulnerable.
The past week we've been staging Act 2 scene 2, the large court room scene. I expressed to Jason that I was concerned this would be a lull in the show`, and turn into a bunch of college guys trying to act like ballsy old guys yelling at each other, which could turn a bit rough for the audience. The wall I feared I'd hit in line memorizing has taken a bit of a toll on the level of work i've been able to put into the rehearsals. I haven't been able to really commit myself entirely to the emotional quality because I've been mostly focused on lines and blocking... to be expected, but still disappointing. The rehearsals have been a bit less focused.
Regaurdless, I've still made some interesting discoveries... made some break throughs, as well as meeting some apprehensions and doubts about my performance thus far. The most difficult part of the scene for me has been the monologue I have in admitting his adultery. Jasons been urging me to play and use the space on the upper deck on this monologue and i've found some nice things, but I still need to focus on specificity of movement and gestures.
Durring our first run of the entire scene last sunday, i did make some great emotional break throughs after that monologue in connecting with his dispair durring Elizabeth's interrogation. Everyone in the rehearsal said they felt invested in the latter part of the scene, despite many calls for line. I've been frustrated because I was frequently calling line when I didn't even have one.
But on the whole, I've been trying to use some transference when considering his emotional state. I've been considering personal things that are going on my life that I can equate to John's frustration and feeling of being beaten down by his life and circumstances. That really helped me to invest and I actually drew some tears durring that run, which is exciting for me; but I don't want to focus on that for fear of forcing anything from this point on. My interaction with Emily Perry also has become really invested her betrayal of John has really been hitting hard with me. I'ven ot thought too much about the complicated realtionship between Mary Warren and John, and I realized the peaks and valleys it goes through, especially in this scene. Its a really big hurtle she has to climb in telling the court that John never threatened her, because I've been pretty violent with her in the first act. But through this scene she becomes the only person John has to hold on to, and when she rejects him the feeling of solitude is pretty striking. The final speech about hearing the boot of lucifer finally connected with me on that final run. I had been trying to be very dramatic and declamitory, but I relaxed into it and found a sense of giving up and being haunted by the imagery. Its a strange thing for him to announce, that God is dead. The line surely comes out of Miller's own religious questioning. I have to consider more about what he really feels about his relationship to God. God is always on not just all Puritans' minds, but also Johns. I truely feel John feels God's presence at all times in his life, until finally he feels rejected by God as well. That statement is a lashing out at God in anger, but not a denial of God. This is probably a pretty relateable feeling for many people; the sense that God has turned his back on his children in contrast to simply disbelieving his existance. Theres a significant difference in the two ideas, and the former bears much more impact.
Last night was my first rehearsal in the final scene, in which John is absolutey at the bottom of despair. Lisa Ann made a comment to me about seeing Liam Neeson playing JP and how over the course of the play his posture declined until his final "It is my name!". Its a great physical way of illustrating how beat down John becomes and I think that will help me to realize the arch and journey John takes. The first couple goes of the scene were difficult and felt forced. Then Jason led Kayla and I in an excercise that really worked for me. he has us kneeling and lifting ourselfs up on our thighs, so to feel a good burn. While pulling back with the thighs, we'd reach out with our arms so there is a contrasting push pull in the body. After a few lines he had us stand up and continue the scene. I couldn't believe the impact it made on me. My body remained in the physical state that the I was trying to have the artificial emotions do. I was completely freed up to let the text work for me and focus on my thoughts about the Giles and Rebecca. I'm definitley going to be using this every rehearsal. I've always worked from the outside in and with psycho-physical techniques. This excercise was the most successful I've ever felt in connecting with a scene.
Despite this huge break through, the rest of rehearsal left me feeling pretty lousy about the scene and how I was dealing with it, mostly because I was having a lot of difficulty remembering lines and blocking, so I couldn't get anywhere near the state I had been durring the excercise. I left rehearsal with a lot of doubt and questioning about how I'm doing as John Proctor. I'm fearing that its forced, or that it just kinda looks like B.S. (I know I'm being hard on myself but I have to be). John pleads to God, "What is John Proctor", I've used this as a mantra a couple of times before rehearsal in a search to understand and reconcile with Proctor. I haven't come to a good understanding of him yet. I'm trying to reconcile the where John Proctor lives in myself, in a way of being the same person. I've also tried to understand him as a seperate person, and how I can step into that third party.
Depsite these concerns and apprehensions, I've never tried to approach a character in this way, which is exciting and scary. I feel like the possibility of failure is a lot greater than any other part i've worked on before.We've got 14 days left before opening. Thats scary... I feel very vulnerable.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Poetry in Theater
I also want to set a goal of thinking more into the work I did with Pig Iron theater over the winter break in Philli. The focus was on theater as poetry, and it brought forth some really compelling insights into the nature and potential of theater. I hope that in some way I can incorporate this sort of thought into my work, and I hope in some way this production can find that quality.
So as a jumping off point I'm gonna throw up some Hieronymus Bosch paintings, I posted some a couple posts ago as well...
So as a jumping off point I'm gonna throw up some Hieronymus Bosch paintings, I posted some a couple posts ago as well...
"The promise a stallion gives a mare" 1/25 and 1/26 Rehearsals
The mood of last nights rehearsal was also less focused than had the previous weeks. It felt a bit like the guys in the scene were a bit restless; everyone does a lot of standing or sitting. I expressed to Jason how I was worried this scene would become a lull and drag the arch a bit. I think this is the scene that we could lose student audiences a bit. Jason eased my concerns by encouraging me to indulge in the melodrama, and understand that audiences today aren't used to watching people on stage for a long period of time delivering these beautiful and sincere oratories. I wonder if its a sort of chewing the scenery thats so classic and compelling when done honestly.
I think I asked one of the most technical questions I've asked in this rehearsal process so far about what precise time to move down off of the stage right step. I knew that Jason was going to trust me enough to feel the moment for myself before I even asked it, I really enjoy being given the autonomy to explore, while still trusting that their is some guidance to affirm or ellaborate on.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Jan 23rd and 24th Rehearsals... and God's icy wind will blow...
Our Sunday rehearsal brought us near the end of Act 1 Scene 2. This rehearsal was a little more belabored than our previous rehearsals had been, but there was still a great deal of discovery and nice progress. In particular, Kayla and I got our first chance to really find the love between the two characters. Both of us commented to each other at the end of rehearsal how surprised we are by the success of our communication and mutual trust. I was also taken aback by the strength that Emily Perry found. It has been a really great experience working with these two very talented women. I'm still working on building my relationship with Hale; its a complicated one. In the interrogation bit Jason set the goal of building this seething disdain for him over the course of the questioning until it bubbles over. I'm still working to find it and embody it.
Tonights rehearsal concluded the blocking for 1.2, followed by a run of scene two, then a run of scene 1 that never reached completion due to time. In the process of blocking the final moments of scene 2, I continued to have even greater progress with Emily. She seemed to be really effected by our interaction, with really helped to facilitate my involvement with her and the scene. At the start I approached the scene with a resigned stoicism, which I think wasn't what Jason was quite expecting, but encouraged and helped me explore. I had a hard time verbalizing objectives with regards to Mary Warren. The lines in those two pages are pretty poetic and I approach them with a bit of apprehension for fear of over playing them. Jason encouraged me to "throw a boiling water in her face" with the lines, "My wife will not die for me". I love how physical the action ended up being. Jason continually seems to realize the impulses I had, but are either hesitant in acting out, or unaware of them on a conscious level.
We then moved to the first run of the entire scene 2. I was surprised at how nervous I was before running it; we had a little bit of an audience of company members waiting to rehearse scene 1. The run went well, though not as good as the scene had been throughout the rehearsals last week. Both Kayla and I felt it, as Emily Brooks and I felt it after the scene 1 run. Its to be expected. I was mostly concerned with remembering all the blocking and lines, but I had set the goal for myself of trying to live in the honest and subtle moments (as if on film) as well as noticing the shape of the scene in order to understand the arch of the first act. The tempo seemed to drag, which I blame on a lack of picking up cues, (duh).
Coming up is the blocking of 2.1 and moving into the courtroom scene. I'm approaching that wall of lines I haven't worked on yet and I'm getting a bit nervous the rehearsals won't go as smoothly or successfully for me as they have been. All and all i'm amazed at the progress I've made and that the company has made.
(I googled "I will bring your guts into your mouth" and I got a picture of Rex Ryan... ha).
Tonights rehearsal concluded the blocking for 1.2, followed by a run of scene two, then a run of scene 1 that never reached completion due to time. In the process of blocking the final moments of scene 2, I continued to have even greater progress with Emily. She seemed to be really effected by our interaction, with really helped to facilitate my involvement with her and the scene. At the start I approached the scene with a resigned stoicism, which I think wasn't what Jason was quite expecting, but encouraged and helped me explore. I had a hard time verbalizing objectives with regards to Mary Warren. The lines in those two pages are pretty poetic and I approach them with a bit of apprehension for fear of over playing them. Jason encouraged me to "throw a boiling water in her face" with the lines, "My wife will not die for me". I love how physical the action ended up being. Jason continually seems to realize the impulses I had, but are either hesitant in acting out, or unaware of them on a conscious level.
We then moved to the first run of the entire scene 2. I was surprised at how nervous I was before running it; we had a little bit of an audience of company members waiting to rehearse scene 1. The run went well, though not as good as the scene had been throughout the rehearsals last week. Both Kayla and I felt it, as Emily Brooks and I felt it after the scene 1 run. Its to be expected. I was mostly concerned with remembering all the blocking and lines, but I had set the goal for myself of trying to live in the honest and subtle moments (as if on film) as well as noticing the shape of the scene in order to understand the arch of the first act. The tempo seemed to drag, which I blame on a lack of picking up cues, (duh).
Coming up is the blocking of 2.1 and moving into the courtroom scene. I'm approaching that wall of lines I haven't worked on yet and I'm getting a bit nervous the rehearsals won't go as smoothly or successfully for me as they have been. All and all i'm amazed at the progress I've made and that the company has made.
(I googled "I will bring your guts into your mouth" and I got a picture of Rex Ryan... ha).
Saturday, January 22, 2011
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