Jan 21st rehearsal

Last night was one of the best rehearsals I've ever had. Kayla and I really have seemed to connect in the scene and we're already making really great progress. Each run of the scene revealed something different, and I know it will continue to up until closing night. The blocking process has also aided in discovering different emotions and have enriched my understanding of the scene and Proctor himself. These moments were mostly found when working on pages 34 and 35 once Elizabeth has been condemned. I almost hesitate to write this, but for the first time ever I almost drew tears, completely unexpectedly. I felt invested in Proctors frustration and hurt in response to Elizabeth's self-righteous judgment. After spending so much time reading the text by myself, I wasn't quite prepared for the shock of actually being able to look into Elizabeths eyes, and have them look into mine. Each time I connected with Kayla's eyes, I felt more grounded and invested in the present moment. I hadn't considered what it must be like for John to look into those eyes every day of his life and continue to see nothing but her judgement, when all he really wants is her approval, if not even her love. The ease with which Kayla and I connected in the scene was something I have rarely found in my time here at IUP.

Working with Emily in the scene was an interesting experience as well. She made an incredibly interesting choice to smile and dance when speaking about the accused women, and it really enraged me (as Proctor). I think its going to be that sort of dissonance of action thats going to give really dark shades and color to the play.

When we took our 5 min. breaks, I had a hard time shaking the tension from my body and jaw. Out of my anxiousness, I had to sit down and just scribble notes in my script to keep myself occupied until I could relax a bit and shake it off, only to come back and take the journey all over again. Once again, I was taken aback by the emotional intensity I experienced in this scene, and it makes me excited, and a bit apprehensive about approaching the following acts when things really take off.

I've got the day off today to work on lines; we're quickly moving towards the scenes I haven't memorized yet, and I'm afraid of hitting that wall in rehearsals, which will probably add to my frustrations.